Swimming became a Break Through

Our nephew never participated to the best of our knowledge in any sports before his becoming a part of our family. Our boys were always involved with water sports so we thought to encourage him this direction. We reminded him that his father was a very good swimmer when he was a kid, he actually recalled seeing him swim and said he would give it a shot. So we set him up with a membership to our local health club and let him work out there before giving it a shot at school. This really built his confidence up before swimming with his peers.

Then the day came to make the switch to the school team for workouts, he did great and the other swimmers met him with open arms to encourage him. He went on to head up the breast stroke competition and did very well. Then he joined the water polo team and got to do some rough and tough swimming which he really enjoyed. So we look back on this time as a real break through for him and for us.

He always made sure that we were at the meets and games for us to watch him. The water gave him confidence and warmed our souls as we cheered him and our sons on. This was good for him in many ways giving him a chance to compete against himself and prove that he could take on things that were way out of his comfort zone. So I encourage you to find those interest with your guardian child that can create a break through moment in life.

Christmas 2008 in Mexico

Our Christmas photo in the back yard. My kids are so funny, they made me wear red... Then sent this photo to me telling me Merry Christmas! Now use your imagination in viewing the lush tropical gardens we are in next to the pool...

Just finished reading "The Shack"

Incredible! I was swept away with the power created in WM. Paul Young's novel "The Shack". The story line is captivating and inspiring, a must read for all. Go check it out at www.theshackbook.com

Raising the Bar... What it meant in our house...

In dealing with a new child in the house, making it three of them in a very simular age choices became different. With our own sons things were traveling along with a smooth progression as we taught them choice making along the way, then things changed. Our nephew being nearly the same age as the other two and having a different set of standards in which choices were made a new chalange came about, how to make better choices. So we adopted the saying "how can we raise the bar" on this choice? It became clear that we really had to do this exercise in full detail to create a new image on this, making it a teachable moment.

I / we had many a conversation at great lengths to help him make better choices. In doing this our parenting style with our own children begun to change, creating more outcome scenarios so they could see the difference as well. This new style kept us on our toes, then the children began to tell us what the better choice would be for them. So we hope and pray that we taught enough about raising the bar that they will carry it into adulthood, its all we can do as guardians / parents.

A PLUG FOR THE BOOK SERIES...

A New Word => GRANDFAMILY

Wow! As I was doing some surfing I found a new word, Grandfamily! This new word has some real complications to it, I have a friend who is of this new generation of words and I have first hand seen what these folks have gone through in their Golden Years. Giving up vacations, weekends away because they made a choice to protect and raise one of our future leaders, my HAT is off to them! Please read on and note the staggering number of families in this current state of life.

Found in Wikipedia at the link below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grandfamilies

Grandfamily is a recently coined term that refers to a family where grandparents, great-grandparents, other relatives, or close family friends are raising a child because the biological parents are unwilling or unable to do so. Legal custody of a child may or may not be involved, and the child may be related by blood, marriage or adoption. This arrangement is also known as "kinship care", "kincare" or "relative care". Kinship placement may reduce the number of home placements children experience, allow children to maintain connections to communities, schools and family members, increase the likelihood of eventual reunification with birth parents, is less costly to taxpayers than formal foster care and keeps many children out of the foster care system.

There are currently 6,706,706 children in the United States who are living in grandfamilies.^[1] Of these, 2.4 million children are being raised solely by their grandparents with no parents present.^[2] Between 2000 and 2005, the number of children raised by relatives in the U.S. has increased by more than 222,000,^[3] and 460,000 grandparents nationally are raising children below the federal poverty level.^[4] Relatives care for 23.5% of all children in foster care in the United States.^[5]

Friends that held you up in tough times

Wow what would I have ever done without a few strong friends who held me / us together during the difficult times. I am grateful to the ones who told me to "go on and keep doing what your doing we can see a difference". My circle was a strong circle, I was blessed. When I was down they listened to me complain and pushed me onward.

I encourage you to identify those great men and women who you can depend on and hold on to those valued relationships. Without them my life would have been very hard and I probably would have not seen the good I / we were doing. Thank them also for being there for you because they could use the encouraging words as well.

When choosing well brings a SMILE to your face...

You may have chosen to become a guardian because no one else would and now you reap a benefit that no one else will. Think back when you first discovered you were making a difference in your guardian child or children, it may be a bit dim or very colorful, you will discover it soon. Reflect back on the first time you were smiling on the inside because you saw that youngster making a new positive path, they were obviously happy which joy then flowed into your soul. That's what I am talking about, find those moments take great satisfaction because you chose well.

I have had to use this (smile method) from time to time as I personally struggled with a parenting style that was in many ways different from raising my own children, just to make sure I was staying the course. So catching them enjoying life is our reward as guardians! Remember the good you sowed into that person(s) life and smile because you chose well.

A Father Addicted to Meth

Well as we rolled through life we always knew that Meth was a big problem out there and then it struck as close as I ever wanted to see it, my wife's brother. The months that followed destroyed his life and our nephews. It hurt him deeply, giving him a burning desire at the age of 14 1/2 to find a way to deal with his own pain, drowning himself with booze. He was a full out alcoholic and on Meth himself by this time. Now just in self preservation mode of which I will write about some other day.

All I know is that drugs have no boundaries meeting face to face with any social group that exists. I made a commitment that if I could ever do something about it I would, it has become one person at a time and hope that my efforts return a win fall one day of more and more people cleaning up! So as I look at the effects it has had on not only my nephew but our whole family I pray that who ever reads this will make a choice to change a life, even if its just a little bit.

Family life before Guardianship

Well as I reflect family life was focusing on our 3 sons and all the activities they were involved in. It was really cool to see them growing in their school and most importantly their youth group at church. Going on retreats in the mountains and creating life long pals. Inviting friends to hang out at the house, with Xbox tournements going off in every direction in the game room. Wires everywhere as they hooked up multiple units while Jeannie and I weren't looking, priceless.

The boys always had friends over and some of them never left for days and some weeks, (Drew) not mentioning any names oh oops... Our home was always opened and our boys would use it to every advantage. So when the time came to take in our nephew it was a natural step in life for them to encourage Jeannie and I to do so. Life took some changes after that of which I will write more of later.

Answering the call to Guardianship

When the call came in that our nephew was in danger and living in a crack house that hit us hard. We did not think twice! He although had a different opinion, he liked his freedom at the ripe age of 14 1/2. When we went to get him on a peaceable note he refused to come with us. So we left him to his own choice as we had no control, it was hard to leave him. For months the situation became worse as the drug use in the home increased, then the deep call from within hit us both. We then petitioned the courts and were turned down, why is this we asked?

Now getting into the legal process of guardianship was a maze that was to hard for us to handle, we decided to hire legal council to guide us. It took weeks of papers and pleas back and forth to get them to listen to our requests. The final straw that brought this to the judges attention was the letter we wrote to the judge, telling him the electrical power and the water had been turned off and guns were in the home. The night we made the request the father shot himself in the leg with a 22 caliber rifle while hanging it up on a nail and the other hand was holding his injection needle of meth. By the next day we had our ex parte order to have temporary custody pending a court hearing.